La Baiser

I am an American.  Nay, I am a Texan.  We Texans (and most other Americans as well) like our personal space.  It's a known fact.  Maybe that's why youth hostels don't exist in America.  Even teenagers frown upon the possibility of having to SHARE a room with people they don't know (despite the dirt cheapness of hostels).

Thus, some French customs are still taking me a little time to adjust to.  For example, the air kiss.  If you've ever seen any movie or TV show ever, you know what this is (see the EXTREMELY awkward picture to the left for reference.  I found it on a wikihow article called "How to Air Kiss." No joke).  When you greet someone (even someone you're barely acquainted with), you kiss the air next to each side of their face, one side then the other.  You might think it sounds easy.  You would be wrong.  This stuff takes practice.  A good air kisser keeps these tips in mind:

1.) Be sure to swing wide when moving to the other side.  Nose bumping is awkward and to be avoided.
2.) Loud kissing noises are NOT appreciated.
3.) Have confidence.  The worst air kisses occur when you display inadequate faith in your air kissing abilities.
4.) When in doubt, don't do it.  Catching someone off guard with an air kiss can be dangerous, and may cause you to accidentally kiss something other than just the air beside someone's face...like their face.
5.) Think fast.  Some air kissers prefer the dive bomb effect.  If you're not careful, a face collision could occur.  

This is a practice I am still working on perfecting.  Honestly, I try to avoid it whenever possible, but if I occasionally see a face rapidly approaching my own, I must oblige.